Can't Go Back Now

Back when I moved to Boone, seven-ish weeks ago, I had this intense desire to just sit on my couch in the family room at home while my mom "cooked" dinner (sorry, mom), my dad watched football, and Cassie did her homework at the kitchen table.  I felt so homesick for those days when I had nothing to do.  I wanted to crawl inside of the memory of coming home after tennis practice in high school and just sitting on the couch, texting my friends with nothing of real importance to do.

The feeling passed after the first couple of weeks, but on Sunday I felt it again.  Kyle and I were trying out a new church, The Heart.  The service was held in the auditorium of Watauga High School.  I sat there and imagined what the hundreds of students must feel when they are sitting in that very room.  I thought of what I felt when I was in their shoes.

I remember how much I wanted to be older.  I remember feeling annoyed with high school and feeling so ready to move on, which I was.  I remember that I was mostly carefree, though I didn't think so at the time (what a joke).  I ache for those memories now, but then I remember other things about those days, as well.

Although I do miss the days before college and graduate school, I don't think you could pay me to go back.  I don't miss that feeling of insecurity, or that feeling of thinking the world would end if I didn't like the outfit I chose to wear to school that day (but really, that feeling does suck, you know what I mean).  I don't miss caring so much about what everyone around me thought or said.  I am thankful for the confidence I have acquired throughout the years, and I would not trade that for the feeling of having no real responsibilities.  Besides, I didn't appreciate that feeling when I had it anyways.  Yes, the responsibilities have grown.  Between remembering to pay my credit card bill, my car insurance payment, get my oil changed, go to class, print this slide off for class, babysit on this day, pick up paper towels and new sponges from the store, oops I forgot this or that, swiffer the kitchen floor, don't let solid food go down the drain because I don't have a garbage disposal, trash goes out on Thursday night, blah blah blah blah blah the list goes on.  But I'm okay with that list.  It's not so bad, it's pretty manageable really.  It's just a part of growing up and moving forward, and with that come new responsibilities and adventures that are fun and exciting, like moving to a new place. 

I absolutely love those moments of nostalgia that hit me out of nowhere, but I am so happy right where I am.  Kyle and I were making dinner the other night and this song by The Weepies came on Pandora.  He told me to listen because it reminded him of this very conversation.  He was right.

Walk on, people.

Go where you want to go.

Wherever you are, be all there.  

Don't wish it all away too early.

The present time is everything, enjoy it.