Predestined

So I visited Kyle this weekend.  I enjoy coming to Radford so much, but my favorite day is Sunday by far.  Kyle goes to the best church I have ever been to in my whole entire life.  It's called Valley Bible.  Bret Johnson has been doing a series out of Ephesians and oh. my. gosh.  This guy is so young, but has such a skill to speak with so much conviction and hope.  It is amazing.  Anyways, the sermon today punched me in the stomach and knocked me on the ground.  It hit me so hard.  It rolled over me like a tsunami wave.  I'm actually still processing it, but while it's fresh I just want to share some of the points.  I promise this is worth reading.  Hang with me, please.

The sermon was out of Ephesians 1:3-6 (How in the heck can you give a 90 minute sermon on 3 verses you ask? Right?! Crazy).  The entire sermon encompassed the idea of God's great love, which I struggle with.  I have an incredibly hard time grasping how much God loves me, which I think is a common struggle among christians.

Anyways, Bret began by speaking about how God chose us.  He knew he would create a world that would become absolutely grimy and corrupt with sin, but he did it anyways.  He sees us for who we are and he is not repulsed.  He actually wants us.  God is propelling all of existence and nothing is by chance.  Wow.  This leads to the idea of predestination.  Hot topic word, but it's simple really.  Before time, God had a will and a destiny for us.  He predestined us to be adopted as part of his family.  He pursued us (and is still pursuing us) and has this awesome plan for us and for the world.

Bret explained it with this analogy:

We've all been to a surprise party.  Someone organizes this awesome event because they love someone.  They get them the best presents, which they know they will love.  They invite all of the people that person enjoys and cares about.  Everyone is tip-toeing around trying to keep this party a surprise because they love that person.  When we love people we like to do nice things for them.  The event may be expensive, but totally worth it.

So imagine this:  Before the world was ever in existence, there was only vast, dark, nothingness, God says to Jesus, "Hey, listen.  I'm going to fashion this world and you, you will show them who I am and then rescue them.  It isn't going to be easy.  They will hate you and ridicule you, but you will save them.  Once they crucify you and you die, they will receive the greatest gift.  It'll be expensive, but it is so worth it."  Jesus nods.

WHAT?!  How incredibly selfless.  God did not create us out of some need for himself.  He wasn't feeling inadequate.  He is perfectly satisfied in himself, yet he chose us.  Why.  We are so totally hopeless outside of God's pursuit.  There is absolutely nothing that can separate us from his perfect will.  God didn't create this world and get to the point where humans discover sin and be like....crap.  Well...what do I do now?  How do I save these people?  This plan was decided from the very beginning.  That is so crazy to me.  I can get lost in the idea just thinking about it.  I mean, really, it's just so cool.  He loves us so much and that's that.  It's love. Simple.

This was such a selfless act.  So incredibly selfless.  Why can we not be this way towards others?  Why are we so quick to anger or so quickly offended?  We are so accepted by Christ.  Nothing we can do is too big to be forgiven.  Nobody is capable of anything that his love cannot wash away.  Why can't I accept others more easily?  Imperfections and all.  Why am I so selective of who I let in?  As Christians we are called to love everyone like Jesus did.  Everyone.  We get so caught up in the rules of the American church.  I just don't think that's what it's all about.  I think that once we comprehend how much God loves us, and what He did for us, then it becomes easier for us to love others, as well.  Stop judging everyone around you.  Everyone has struggles and demons that they're battling.  Help them.  Experience selflessness.

It is just not our place to be the appraiser of our worth.  That is the role of God.  He defines our worth.  Yes, we are so not deserving, but that is just not up to us.  God's grace and perseverance is truly beautiful.  Doubt and fear are so natural, but thankfully these feelings don't save us.  Don't let it hinder your intimacy with Him.

There is so much hope in the darkness of this world, just believe.  It's such a quick, life altering decision.  It's life or death.  Join the family, He loves you more than any earthly being will ever be able to.

He is the rescuer, and that my friends, is beautiful.

If you're interested in hearing Bret's other sermons or this one in particular, check it out here.  Those are my thoughts for today.  Thank God for renewal.    

Can't Go Back Now

Back when I moved to Boone, seven-ish weeks ago, I had this intense desire to just sit on my couch in the family room at home while my mom "cooked" dinner (sorry, mom), my dad watched football, and Cassie did her homework at the kitchen table.  I felt so homesick for those days when I had nothing to do.  I wanted to crawl inside of the memory of coming home after tennis practice in high school and just sitting on the couch, texting my friends with nothing of real importance to do.

The feeling passed after the first couple of weeks, but on Sunday I felt it again.  Kyle and I were trying out a new church, The Heart.  The service was held in the auditorium of Watauga High School.  I sat there and imagined what the hundreds of students must feel when they are sitting in that very room.  I thought of what I felt when I was in their shoes.

I remember how much I wanted to be older.  I remember feeling annoyed with high school and feeling so ready to move on, which I was.  I remember that I was mostly carefree, though I didn't think so at the time (what a joke).  I ache for those memories now, but then I remember other things about those days, as well.

Although I do miss the days before college and graduate school, I don't think you could pay me to go back.  I don't miss that feeling of insecurity, or that feeling of thinking the world would end if I didn't like the outfit I chose to wear to school that day (but really, that feeling does suck, you know what I mean).  I don't miss caring so much about what everyone around me thought or said.  I am thankful for the confidence I have acquired throughout the years, and I would not trade that for the feeling of having no real responsibilities.  Besides, I didn't appreciate that feeling when I had it anyways.  Yes, the responsibilities have grown.  Between remembering to pay my credit card bill, my car insurance payment, get my oil changed, go to class, print this slide off for class, babysit on this day, pick up paper towels and new sponges from the store, oops I forgot this or that, swiffer the kitchen floor, don't let solid food go down the drain because I don't have a garbage disposal, trash goes out on Thursday night, blah blah blah blah blah the list goes on.  But I'm okay with that list.  It's not so bad, it's pretty manageable really.  It's just a part of growing up and moving forward, and with that come new responsibilities and adventures that are fun and exciting, like moving to a new place. 

I absolutely love those moments of nostalgia that hit me out of nowhere, but I am so happy right where I am.  Kyle and I were making dinner the other night and this song by The Weepies came on Pandora.  He told me to listen because it reminded him of this very conversation.  He was right.

Walk on, people.

Go where you want to go.

Wherever you are, be all there.  

Don't wish it all away too early.

The present time is everything, enjoy it. 

Called Out

I finished Jen Hatmaker's book, 7.  This book has deeply stirred something inside of me that has been sitting there, mostly unaddressed, for years.  Courses in my undergraduate career led me to questions about excess, materialism, indulgence, service, environmentalism, and how all of these things connect.  I feel educated on these topics, though education and knowledge are not always enough.  Now that I have finished this book, I feel...called out.  And I like it.

Let me explain.

Readers, I'm not sure where you are right now.  I don't know what makes you tick, or what drives you. I don't know if you have a spiritual relationship with Christ, or if you're looking for one.  Maybe you're drawn to God, but you don't like his followers, and I understand that.  As the Stark household would state it, "People suck."  I am so guilty of sucking EVERY SINGLE DAY.  What do I do?  How am I serving others?  How am I serving the community or making myself available to help?  This is something that I do not have a ton of experience with, though I am ready to do more.

I always thought that my faith alone was enough.  I am growing past this idea, which is exciting to me.  I want to serve.  I don't want to be someone who is too busy to provide a helping hand.  Pause.  I have always been that person that is too busy.  I have always been the person who makes plans with everyone, or won't commit to plans, and has to flake last minute (I am so sorry, Kel).  Boone has caused me to slow down.  This book fell into my hands at a perfect time.  I live alone.  I do not have a job.  I go to class and then my days are free.  This schedule has had me twitching since I got here because I have never had so much spare time.  Maybe Netflix isn't the best way to invest my 7 hours of free time.  Maybe?  Slowing my life down is making me see things more clearly and I like it.  I'm rambling now so I just want to share this one thing.  If you have not, will not, or do not care about ever reading this book, I am going to sum it up right here:

• Love God most, but love your neighbor as yourself.  This is everything.
• If we say we love God, then why don't we care for the poor?
• This earth is God's and everything in it.  Why don't we live like we believe this?
• What we treasure reveals what we love.
• Money and stuff have the power to ruin us.
• Act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God.  This is what is required.

That is straight from the conclusion of Jen's book.  Solid.  It has hit me hard.  No matter what you believe, these are great things to think about.  Less is more.  What can we do for others when we simplify our lives and just get rid of all of the extra junk we have laying around?  We have SO much.  Think about it.  

This is my last post about 7, but these ideas plus biblical foundation are changing my life.  A friend gave me a new book yesterday and I am excited to continue broadening the endless (though dusty) chambers of my mind.  I figure it's better than watching another episode of Greek on Netflix.

Thanks for reading.  No matter where you are or what you're going through, just pause.  These things are temporary.  There is so much more to life than the weight you are feeling right now.  All things pass and life goes through seasons, it's what you chose to do with those seasons.  Help is all around you.  

Slow down and breathe.

  

7

I have a confession...but first, let me explain.

Some of you know that I began a "fast" of sorts eight days ago.  I read this book called 7 by Jen Hatmaker, which changed my life in some ways.  If you have 1 minute and 42 seconds to spare, you should check out the book trailer here.  During a seven month span, Jen tackles seven areas of excess: clothes, spending, waste, possessions, media, stress, and food.  In the first month Jen choses to eat only seven different foods for an entire month.  Simplifying our life through the foods we eat is really quite hard in the United States.  We have so. many. options.  And these options can come very, very, very cheap.  I decided to give this food simplification idea a try.

So, why eat only seven foods for an entire month?  For me, I do not truly know hunger.  I have never worried about when my next meal will come, because I just know that it will.  I am so incredibly blessed by this, though I have never realized it.  I wanted to try this fast for that exact reason.  When hunger hits and I just want snack food, or I am just plain sick of my seven foods, I pray.  I pray for everyone who does not have access to food and is going to bed with an empty belly.  Though my options are limited, I have an unlimited supply of these seven foods I have chosen.  How fortunate am I?  

Additionally, I like to think about how Jesus fasted for 40 whole days and ate nothing.  Nothing.  People, I can't even comprehend this.  I could not go a a whole day without eating.  But hey, I'm also not Jesus (obviously).  Jesus made himself empty, which is what I want to do.  Less of me and more of Him.  Sometimes (by sometimes I mean most of the time), I am just too into myself and what I want and what I need to notice Jesus.  I desire to die to myself daily and to allow the Holy Spirit to move through me by making myself empty.  

Luke 4:2 says, "He ate nothing during those days, and at the end of them he was hungry."

Well, here comes my confession.  For seven days I ate nothing but avocado, black beans, eggs, bread, spinach, sweet potato, and almond milk.  Yesterday after church I was feeling very excited about the day of rest, and accomplished that I had made it seven days into my fast successfully.  After a beautiful hike at Linville Falls with some friends, I was feeling...lustful for something sweet.  So without thinking twice, I got in my car, drove to Sweet Frog, purchased a $4.50 cup of Reese's Peanut Butter frozen yogurt topped with frosted animal crackers, fudge brownie bites, more Reese's (no shame), and whipped cream. Excessive?  Maybe.  But I actually do not feel bad.  Nothing has ever tasted so delicious to me in my whole entire life.  I was GRATEFUL for that frozen yogurt, let me tell you.  It made me think about how often I eat delicious foods and I never give it a second thought.  This is a luxury that many do not get to indulge in.  So I made a decision, on the seventh day of each week I will rest from my fast.  I am 25% done and I can do this.  

I am so insignificant next to Jesus, but yesterday showed me that my fast is accomplishing what I want it to.  I am so grateful.  This morning I am back at it.  I had a piece of whole wheat toast and half of an avocado.  Happy Monday, friends.  Think of how much you have to be thankful for.  It will melt away whatever stress you may be feeling right now, guaranteed.  

Stay awesome. 

Post-Grad Life

In May I graduated from James Madison University and made the move to good ol' Boone, North Carolina to attend (dun, dun, dun): Grad school.  Yikes.

Things I have learned about post-grad life:

• I need my dad on a daily basis to kill the bugs in my apartment
• Plumbing problems are a serious issue and they suck (or don't suck...)
•  Not having a dishwasher is time consuming and it wrecks my nails
• I have a lot of random expenses
• Making new friends is approached like a new relationship: Don't be too needy
• I am lonely

The last point is my biggest.  I am very lonely.  This is my first time living alone away from my friends, my family, and my boyfriend.  My friends have moved to places like Boulder, Tampa, and D.C.  None of which are remotely close to me.  I can't seem to kick this feeling that I will never find friends like the ones I made at JMU.

THANKFULLY, this isn't true of course.  While I am lonely, this is only a temporary stage in my life.  A small, two year, temporary stage of me seeking a higher level of education.  I started roughly four-ish weeks ago and I already can't wait for it be over.  Life comes in stages and you do with it what you can.   

I have sat in this apartment feeling sorry for myself for the past 36 hours.  Then I went and biked 17 miles and now I am sore and have a fresh state of mind.  I am not alone.  I am never alone.  10,000 Reasons (Bless the Lord) by Matt Redman reminded me of this.  Then I got home, made some chai tea, Skyped with my sister, and I am feeling thankful.  I am thankful for the opportunity to go to school, to eat, to sleep in a comfy bed, to have people who love me (even though they are far away), and for an awesome savior who always comforts me, especially when I'm feeling lonely. 

Heads up post-grads.  There is light at the end of the tunnel. 

P.S. Here is my super awesome new mug and my hot, comforting chai tea for this chilly day: