Home

I am finally home for a few short days.  Nothing can replace home.  I won't lie, I cried a little when I got off on the Staunton/Fishersville exit.  I already know that once Monday morning comes I will not want to leave.  I have only been here since Tuesday afternoon, but I have a couple of things to share.

1.  The water pressure here is wonderful.  AND I can raise my arms above my head when I take a shower and not hit the ceiling.  I took that for granted, so I'll enjoy it while I'm here visiting.

2.  Last night I gave my testimony to the Staunton Alliance youth group during their Refuge meeting time.  I have been feeling so called towards youth.  I feel for these kids.  My prayer is that they will understand how incredibly important it is to establish their identity in Christ now, before college rocks them with trials and challenges they never anticipated.  I shared with them how I, fortunately, had a solid foundation under me and I truly did know Christ before I began college.  I just got so caught up in sin that I lost my way for a long time.  I never doubted He wasn't real, or that His word wasn't true, I just didn't want to listen and I didn't know how to find my way out of my vicious cycle of sin.

For those of you who think you know me, you're about to really know me.  I recorded my testimony last night, but I have chosen not to post it on my blog.  I believe that it is God's testimony and not my own, so I hope that it impacts you in some way.

I was raised in the church and I truly knew Christ.  I had a relationship with Him, truly.  I found myself being sexually impure, and getting high and drunk often.  It was fun.  This progressed through my sophomore year and one night I hit rock bottom.  I specifically remember sitting in my dorm and just sobbing and Kelly coming in to check on me.  It is so cool to think about how God was fighting for me that whole time.  He never once turned away from me, He was just waiting for me to listen.  I finally listened, but it took awhile for me to get to know Him again.  Not long after, I met a guy that God strategically put in my life to save me, in a sense.  We met under incredibly sinful circumstances, but he was in the same place as me, though I would say he was a little more spiritually mature than I was at the time.  I saw God work through him and I began restoring my long broken relationship with Christ again.  I don't know that I could have done this alone at that point in my life.  God was looking out for me when I was introduced to that guy.  Together we grew and it was so cool.  I learned what a christian relationship was designed to be.  I learned about boundaries and how incredibly important intentionality is when physical touch cannot be the number one love language.  It was so hard for me, but I learned so much.  We parted ways and I continued through college still struggling, though I had gained my sight for Jesus back.  I struggled with wanting to revert back into old behaviors, actually reverting back into old behaviors, and controlling my language.  I began dating my first boyfriend that I ever had, like ever, and he became (and still is) such a spiritual leader to me.  I can see God's character and how much He truly loves me through Kyle.  It is one of my greatest blessings and I let him know every day.  This past summer and since I moved to Boone, my relationship with my savior has only grown.  The more I fall in love with Jesus, the less I think about the "rules" of christianity.  Worship through my actions, words, and thoughts becomes more natural.  This is how it was designed to be, people.  Falling in love with God, rather than just believing he exists, is the only way to truly experience Him.  If you have doubts and fears, that is so natural, but once you truly get to know Him, your life will be forever changed.  You'll never want to go back.

I just want these middle and high school students to embrace this!  Ah, I just can't emphasize it enough.  How do you tell a 16-year-old that Jesus is it.  Look no further, He is all you will ever need.  He is the beginning and the end and our time here is so temporary.  Most of what we do here on Earth amounts to nothing.  How do you tell them that seeking after God is more important than their relationship, or their PS2, or impressing their friends, or being popular, or making the Varsity team?  I just don't know.  They have to experience it.  They have to figure it out themselves, we all do.  I just pray that they don't have to find Him the way I did.  He is there and He is waiting.  If you search for Him, you will find Him.

I don't know what you guys are struggling with today, or what's going in your life.  I was so grateful by the feedback that I got from the youth and the leaders about my testimony.  So many Christians have biblical knowledge, but lack that relationship with Christ.  Sometimes we're afraid to admit that.  It's like Christians have to maintain some "perfect" act when they're around other Christians, or anybody.  Let's be honest...we're all humans here.  We all are subject to sucking.  We all struggle.  Being real with others allows God to move through our stories and our struggles.  You never know who may be having similar struggles.  Transparency is so incredibly important, guys.  It really is.  Recently every one in my small group shared their testimonies and it really grew us.  Knowing people's struggles and fears makes them more real.  It's amazing.

I am so excited about whatever God is going to do in the live's of the youth who were at Refuge on Wednesday night.  He was thinking about all of us when this earth was just darkness.  That's so comforting to me, and I hope it is to you, as well.  That's how much you're loved.  If you're interested in hearing the audio of my talk last night, shoot me an email and I'll hook you up.

Jeremiah 29:11-13
"For I know the plan I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."