Where is the Love?

I recently added "Where is the Love?" by The Black Eyed Peas to one of my gym playlists.  I think the lyrics are pretty valuable for such a secular group of musicians.  The lyrics are so simple, but I seriously get so pumped listening to this song.  My personal favorite part:

Madness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all

People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
Or would you turn the other cheek?

Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love?

Though this song speaks very generally about love, I struggle to exude Christ's love every single day.  Kyle and I are working on making ourselves more available to our friends, but it is so easy to let selfish feelings override.  It seems like I am constantly wishing that I could have responded to a situation in a more loving manner.  Love can be such a hard thing.

Today I was particularly questioning where the love was.  My USA Today news application was swimming with ISIS articles.  As I read an article about ISIS burning human beings alive and harvesting organs to fund their schemes, I just wanted to cry.  I proceeded to scroll through my Facebook feed where I read a status that spoke truth, though could easily come across as condemnation to nonbelievers.  It made me sad to see 55+ comments arguing about God's truth...even though I think the opposite reaction was the intention.  As I scrolled past this saddening debate, I saw an article a friend posted about rethinking the doctrine of Hell due to ISIS torture schemes.  

All this has me feeling heavy hearted and sad.  None of this feels like love and it all seems like a giant question.  As I was reading all of the comments on the particular Facebook status I saw, I thought about how Jesus feels about all of these comments.  I thought about how detrimental social media can be, and is, to the mission.  I'm not sure Jesus had social media in mind when He called us to go and make disciples, though it does have some awesome positive sides, like blogs and online sermons :)  When love is the underlying message of God's immense, never ending love for us, how is this properly displayed through social media?  It's a difficult, blurry line that often leaves me feeling sad.  We live in a world where we are taught to be proud, independent thinking beings.  We fight for our thought development and when we enter arguments, we usually intend to fight to win them.  How can we show God's love with this method?  Force feeding scripture down other's throats just doesn't seem like the right way.

Additionally, if you read the above linked article I referenced, I would love to hear your thoughts about it.  It afflicts me that the torture caused by ISIS would cause an article that brings question to God's word.  It has me thinking and I am very open to hearing input about this, but in the end I have to come back to scripture.  God is very clear in scripture that hell is separation from Him, and that is bad.  I mean that is really, really bad.  Kyle and I are doing a bible study with two other married couples on the book of Exodus right now.  It is so amazing to see how God's hand is in every single action that takes place throughout this book and it all is leading to us; We are all God's ultimate purpose.  I can't fathom a world with no God.  Francis Chan brings up an awesome point in one of his interviews on his book, "Erasing Hell".  I think this article from above is questioning how can we serve a loving, just God that chooses to throw those who do not follow Him into a pit of fire.  I struggle with this myself, but Chan (as usual) brings up a humbling point.  When I question God's actions, I am putting Him in submission to me and weighing what He would do versus what I would do in that situation.  How can I do that?  His mercy and His justice are perfect, far more perfect than my own.  God is all knowing and His plan is perfect.  I can't fathom his perfectness or why He does what He does because He's God.  His plan is always going to be better than mine and yours.  We need to become uninterested in being right, and become interested in seeking the truth.  

I don't know friends, I'm feeling heavy hearted.  All this social media craziness and the weight of what Hell really is is all so wild to think about.  It's the eternal destiny of real people.  When you stop to think about how temporary this life is and think about what will happen when you blink your eyes and this is all gone, what will become of you?  I don't think we have this conversation enough.  I want to challenge you to think about it.  What do you believe?

By this point, I am feeling thankful that these silly little things on Facebook have led me to this point.  Kyle and I are going to begin a Hell study after we finish our current Francis Chan book.  Francis is such a genuine, humble man and he writes off of God's truth, not his interpreted version of the truth.  If you're looking for an awesome book, try one of his.  It will challenge you to no end, I promise.    

Praying for hope and justice today.  Stay warm, friends.  

"Hold on all you who wait by the blue shores for Him to to part the water. Desert Father, show us a new way." 

- Josh Garrels, Desert Father   

Why Do I Flee From You?

It's been a long time!  I am at home enjoying a snow day and a day off work.  If nothing else, all this snow helps me to slow down and enjoy down time.

Lately I have been so stressed with hoping and praying my thesis will be done in time to graduate (why am I doing a thesis?) , getting a job here in Boone (or somewhere close), and making plans for our new townhouse (YAY!! We move in May).  I notice myself obsessing over these things.  My stomach churns and I worry, "what if..." In my down time, I have started relentlessly pouring over every possible page on the internet for jobs that I can apply to.  It's starting to make me crazy.

Through all of this, I have been totally neglecting my personal time with Jesus.  I sit here day after day and stress about what I will do and where will our money come from, and I truly feel that I have this under control and I will figure this out.  I have ignored every conviction that I have had to give this burden up and to trust that the Lord will provide for Kyle and I.  Even writing this I am finding it difficult.

Every day I want to speak with you. And every day something more important
calls for my attention—the drugstore, the beauty products, the luggage
I need to buy for the trip.
Even now I can hardly sit here
among the falling piles of paper and clothing, the garbage trucks outside
already screeching and banging.
The mystics say you are as close as my own breath.
Why do I flee from you?
My days and nights pour through me like complaints
and become a story I forgot to tell.
Help me. Even as I write these words I am planning
to rise from the chair as soon as I finish this sentence.

-Marie Howe

This is one of my favorite poems in the world.  I have never been able to relate to a piece of literature more than this one.  After Kyle left for work this morning, I knew I wanted to spend quiet time with Jesus, but my pull to the internet to start scanning for jobs started to overpower me.  I closed my computer, opened my bible, and prayed.  I prayed for all of the things I wanted and needed help with, and then I remembered something Kyle said the other day.  We were furniture shopping for new kitchen chairs and he said, "Jame, I don't want us to ever forget how much we have to be thankful for.  We are always seeking something new and then we just forget about what we already have."  I thought about this as I was praying and I just sat and gave thanks.  Even though the dollars in our bank account may be low, we have a roof over our heads, a fully stocked fridge, and a full tank of kerosene to keep us warm from this awful weather.  

I am so very thankful, though I still feel that worry and fear about "what if..."  Sometimes I feel like I am so much more disciplined with my physical health than I am with my spiritual health.  

"Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.  The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance." - 1 Timothy 4:7-9

Spiritual discipline is a process.  Kyle and I have created a new prayer and devotions life as a couple, but my own personal spiritual discipline is in need of some training.  Here's to your prayer lives, friends.  Doubt, worry, and fear are such strong, overpowering feelings, but they are no match for the peace that I find in the presence of my savior.  

"In him is life, and that life was the light of all people.  The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." - John 1:4-5

Here's to seeking the light...now time to shovel the driveway.