Or be one.
God is doing some crazy things in my life right now. I think it's pretty fascinating to look back at my spiritual journey over the past few months. It reminds me of some ideas Jen Hatmaker touches on in 7 (seriously read this book). I completely removed myself from everything that was comfortable to me, and through doing that, it allowed more room for Jesus to move. I needed change and I needed to create more space within myself so that I could grow.
More of Him, less of me.
With that being said, God has really had it on my heart to pray. I mean serious, intentional prayer. I tend to give God the tiny 5% that I have left at the end of the day when I talk to Him. Also, I tend to pray for myself and the needs that are most important to me. I pray for the safety and health of Kyle, my family, and my friends. I pray that I will make it through grad school without failing out. Generally, I'm a pretty selfish person...and I recognize that (sometimes).
You guys, God is so big and more majestic than we can even comprehend. For me to quickly speak with Him before I fall asleep just doesn't even give Him the glory He deserves. I have started praying out loud in my apartment during times of the day when my tank isn't running on empty. I've become more intentional in the content of my prayers, as well. Rather than praying for my desires and what I want, I need to pray about what God thinks is best. My idea of how I want things to go can be SO different of His idea and His plan. I'm learning to accept that and to allow Him to move how He sees fit.
Also, you know how everyone is always like, "I'll pray for you?" For those of you who don't know me very well, I am a recovering flake. Seriously. I have suffered from serious flake-itis and I am making some serious improvements in changing this about myself. When I say I'm going to pray for you, I need to actually do it. I don't want the powerful act of prayer to be an empty promise that I hand out to others. This week, I intentionally prayed for specific situations every single day. This is something I am really, really, really, working at.
Lastly, since I moved to Boone, God has completely shown me how to be a fighter for someone else. Both emotionally and spiritually. I can recall one of my deepest, darkest memories from when I had just recently made the decision to seek after Christ again. I wasn't 100% there yet. God hadn't completely broken me down yet. I look at the miraculous ways God was fighting for me in that specific situation and I am so incredibly grateful. He had his hand on so many terrible situations that protected me and I didn't even want Him to. Wow. How crazy, right?
So, with that being said, God had my back through it all, but I never had a human, flesh and bones fighter. Nobody really knew the extent of my spiritual battle. I desired to live in both the light and the dark, which I now know is impossible. Sometimes I still feel myself wanting to revert back into those old behaviors. I didn't have a specific person fighting for me. I was completely alone in my struggle, for the most part. I also didn't know what it meant to truly fight for someone...until now.
I'm going to get a little cliche and say that everyone needs that peanut butter to their jelly, or that icing to their cupcake, that horizon to their sky, or maybe even...the Mario to their Luigi.
Hehe, no but seriously. I have understood deep, true friendship, but what God is teaching me now is different. I have learned how to truly spiritually invest into another human being and to fight for them. I'm not talking about physical fighting, but hey I'd throw a punch for my peeps. I'm talking broken, on my knees, praying and pleading with God for a friend. I have never prayed like this for another human being. Ever. This realization slapped me in the face yesterday.
We are broken people called to serve and to love others. I mean seriously love in the way that Jesus loved us. Yes, I recognize that amount of unconditional love is physically impossible for human capacity, but we can try.
My prayer is that you guys have someone fighting for you. I recognize that we all struggle with different things. Maybe some of you are suffering from physical pain, or grief, or hopelessness. God has your back, but I hope you have a loved one that does too.
Be a fighter, guys. Spiritual warfare is waging all around us. This terrifies me, but also gives me peace. We are constantly being fought for. We are that loved.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If they fall down, they can help each other up. But pity those who fall and have no one to help them up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
Help pick someone up. Everyone needs a fighter.
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